


Autistic Creative Challenge: Third Doctor

by AutisticWriter



Series: Autistic Headcanons [69]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Ableism, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Creative Challenge, Autistic Doctor (Doctor Who), Autistic Third Doctor, Background John Benton/Mike Yates, Bickering, Bisexual Male Character, Blood, Classic Cars, Cuddling & Snuggling, Date Nights, Double Drabble, Drabble Collection, Echolalia, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Third Doctor, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied ABA, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inspiration Porn, Intersex, Kissing, LGBTQ Themes, Martial Arts, Nightmares, Nonverbal Communication, Other, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Assault, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Discovery, Self-Harm, Sensory Overload, Sign Language, Special Interests, Spoon Theory, Stimming, Trauma, UNIT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-11-29 10:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 6,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11438760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: A collection of double drabbles written for uniqueaspergirl's Autistic Creative Challenge. These drabbles focus on the Third Doctor, whom I headcanon as autistic.





	1. #Redinstead

“Lethbridge-Stewart, can I talk to you for a minute?”

The Doctor’s voice is formal yet friendly as they enter the room, their weighted skirt flapping as they walk.

Alistair looks up at them, and then back down at the notes Yates just handed him. But it’s nothing important, so he nods and follows the Doctor out of the room. Once they are in the corridor, the Doctor grabs his wrist and pulls Alistair into an empty office. There is a massive grin on their face, and Alistair can’t quite understand why. And then the Doctor kisses him, and he flinches backwards, shocked.

“Doctor!” he says, his face reddening. “We’re at work.”

“ _You’re_ at work, my dear fellow,” the Doctor says, ever the pedant. “I’m your scientific advisor, not a member of UNIT.”

“Well whatever you are, please refrain from kissing me at work,” Alistair says. “And why are you so excited, exactly.”

Still grinning, the Doctor nods their head towards the window. “Take a look.”

Confused, Alistair does as they say. He stares out of the window... and then he notices.

Bessie is now bright red.

“Doctor...?”

“I just fancied a change. Do you like it?”

Alistair sighs. “Of course.”


	2. Stimming

“Can I borrow a pen, Doctor?” Mike asks.

Without looking up from their work, the Doctor fumbles for a pen and throws it towards Mike.

“Thanks.”

He turns the pen over in his fingers, suddenly noticing that the pen is covered in teeth marks. Mike spots a pencil sticking out of the Doctor’s mouth, and it is obvious whose teeth made the marks.

And then he wonders why he didn’t notice in the first place. The Doctor constantly has things in their mouth (pencils, their fingers, etc), chewing on them when they are bored or thinking hard. Their fingernails are short and jagged, and their other pens and pencils must be chewed too.

Still, it doesn’t really matter; despite being covered in teeth marks, the pen still works perfectly well. Mike scribbles down a phone number (Benton’s, if you must know), and hands the pen back.

“Um, Doctor...?”

“Mmm?” the Doctor murmurs.

“Have you thought about chewing gum?” Mike says, pulling a pack of gum from his pocket.

When the Doctor doesn’t respond, too absorbed in their work, Mike puts the packet on the desk. As he leaves, he sees the Doctor put a strip of gum in their mouth.


	3. Special Interest

The Doctor loves martial arts. They love how they are such a good form of exercise, toning their body and keeping them fit without even feeling like they are exercising. They love studying them, reading into the deep, rich history of martial arts used by people throughout time and space. The Doctor is certain they sometimes annoy people by telling them facts about martial arts, but they can’t help it; it is just so fascinating. Plus, they’re a good way to stim, doing repetitive movements when they practise that double as stims.

Their favourite is Venusian Aikido. There is just something about the way it works that makes it perfect to use, from its simple yet powerful moves to wonderfully calming sensation that fills the Doctor when they practise it. It is built in self defence, so the moves and techniques the Doctor learns are always simply to disarm opponents, not hurt them. It is about peace, not violence.

This also means that the techniques are useful for different things. When the Doctor is shutting down or descending into a panic attack after being triggered, doing a few, slow moves can help ground them, and remind them what is real.


	4. Communication

“That was a really interesting lesson,” John says. John, along with Mike and Jo, has just sat through a half-hour long lesson in sign language, courtesy of the Doctor. And he is being sincere; it was a fascinating session. “You’re a great teacher. I actually want to listen to you. Maybe I’d have done better at school with a teacher like you, Doctor.”

He chuckles, but the Doctor just smiles weakly.

“You all right, Doctor?” he asks.

They force another smile. “Yes, I’m fine. I was just thinking.”

“What about?”

“About how I always get told I’ve got a good speaking voice,” the Doctor says. “It’s interesting, considering how speech isn’t natural for me.”

“How’d you mean?” John asks, feeling as though he is prying into the Doctor’s private life.

But the Doctor obviously doesn’t mind, because they carry on speaking. “I was nonverbal as a child. I couldn’t speak. Not a word. And then... through the wonders of emotional and physical abuse packaged as behavioural therapy, they forced speech out of me. But it didn’t come naturally. And it still doesn’t.”

The Doctor sighs and holds out a pack of chewing gum. “Would you like a piece of gum?”


	5. Freebie

When Alistair wakes in the night, he knows something is wrong.

His partner is writhing beside him, their legs kicking and their head thrashing from side to side on the pillow. Their face is screwed up, their hands clenched into tight, trembling fists. They are obviously having a nightmare.

The Doctor wakes with a jolt, heaving a gasping breath and hauling themself upright. Out of breath and drenched in sweat, the Doctor looks like they could have ran a marathon. But Alistair knows from personal experience that nightmares are absolutely exhausting.

When their scan of the room shows no threat, the Doctor flops back down. From their shining eyes to their jagged breaths, it seems obvious that the Doctor is fighting back tears. They turn their head and look at Alistair.

“Did I wake you?” they whisper.

“Yes. But it’s not a problem,” Alistair says. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“How can you tell?”

“I get them too,” he says, remembering waking in a blur of gasps and tangled sheets, hideous images of the assault still in his mind. “Would you like a hug?”

The Doctor nods, so Alistair wraps his arms around them.

“Thank you.”

Alistair smiles. “You’re welcome.”


	6. Food

“Evening, Alistair,” the Doctor says, opening the front door before Alistair can knock. Their clothes are even fancier than usual, and they grin at him.

“Hello, Doctor,” he says, stepping into the house.

As they help Alistair take off his thick coat, the Doctor says, “Did the meeting last longer than you thought?”

He sighs. “Yes, it certainly did.”

The Doctor pats his shoulder. “Come on, come and sit down.”

They gesture towards the living room doorway, their smile seeming oddly... excitable. Puzzled, Alistair kicks off his shoes and wanders into the living room. Everything seems normal...

Until he spots the flickering light coming from the dining room. Following the source of the light (just in case the Doctor has brought some weird alien home or something), Alistair finds himself in their normal dining room. But there are candles everywhere, and the Doctor has set it up like a proper formal restaurant. Because they have decided to make tonight a date night.

Alistair forgets about his aching back as he walks around the table, loving the smell of burning candles. And then the Doctor appears in the doorway.

They smile. “Do you like it?”

Alistair answers them with a kiss.


	7. Spoons

“I’m sorry, Doctor, but I still don’t understand,” Jo says, frowning in confusion.

The Doctor has just given her a basic explanation of how the Spoon Theory works. However, Jo is struggling to grasp the concept. Which is understandable, because it is rather bizarre.

But that doesn’t matter, because they have another way to explain it.

“Here, hold this,” they say, and the Doctor hands Jo a large bag. “Give it a feel and test its weight. Now, can you tell me how many spoons are in this bag?”

She looks at the opaque bag and frowns. “No. I’ve no idea.”

“Exactly,” the Doctor says, smiling. “Because I never know how many spoons I have when I wake up, it’s easy to overdo it. That then means I wake up the next day with a deficit and feel dreadful. Which is what my bad days are like.”

The Doctor watches as a strange smile crosses Jo’s face.

“That makes sense, now,” she says. “Thank you!”

They smile. “No problem. The Spoon Theory often needs a bit of an explanation.”

“What are you going on about spoons for?” Benton asks, walking into the room.

Jo grins at the Doctor. “You explain.”


	8. Crowd

Neither of them like being closed in. Whether in the middle of a crowd or alone in a tight place, both Alistair and the Doctor find it a horrible experience.

Alistair hates being surrounded, trapped in one place so he can’t escape. Because it all leads back to the same trauma; whenever someone corners him or blocks his exit, it triggers him as if they were pinning him down by his shoulders. And being pinned down sends horrible images of being pinned to a bed and... And being pinned down causes horrible flashbacks and leaves him fighting a panic attack.

The Doctor has similar issues. Being in a confined space reminds them of their ‘therapy’, where people would shut them in cupboards for disobeying their abusive commands. Being in crowds reminds them of times where people forced them into overwhelming social situations, not caring when they cried.

That is their other issue. The Doctor’s autism makes their hearing very sensitive, and loud noises send them into a sensory overload that is very unpleasant to watch, let alone experience.

So these situations are unpleasant. They try to avoid them, but, if they have no choice, at least they can struggle together.


	9. Phone Calls

“Look, Mike, just phone him,” Jo said. “There’s no point mulling it over. Just do it.”

“I appreciate the advice, Jo,” Mike said, wondering why he even spoke to Jo about this in the first place. “But it’s not as simple as that.”

“What isn’t?” the Doctor said, entering the room.

Mike sighed; now he had another person to deal with. “Asking another man... out for a date isn’t that simple.”

The Doctor smiled. “I know, Mike. But it’s worth a try. I mean, look at me and Lethbridge-Stewart.”

 

At home, Mike took a deep, slow breath, and then dialled John’s number.

“H-Hello, Sergeant Benton,” Mike said, wishing his voice would sound less wooden.

“Sir? Why’re you calling me?” He could hear the confusion in John’s voice.

Mike swallowed, his heart pounding. “Look, Benton... John, there’s something I need to ask you...”

 

The next day, the Doctor and Jo pounced on him. He rolled his eyes as they both bugged him about his phone call to John, but he wasn’t really annoyed.

“It went well,” he said, smiling. “Very well.”

Jo grinned and hugged him. The Doctor shook his hand.

“Well done, my dear fellow,” they said, and they grinned.


	10. Labels

It’s amazing how much of his identity Alistair now understands since he met the Doctor. Before then, he thought he was a confused heterosexual, with an oddly developed body and a majorly unstable brain. And this lack of understanding caused a fair bit of self hatred, because he thought he was someone he wasn’t.

But becoming very close with the Doctor has changed his life in so many ways. Not only does he have a wonderful, caring partner, but they have helped him discover his true identity. He isn’t heterosexual; he is actually bisexual, having spent a long time in denial. He isn’t just oddly developed; he is intersex (Klinefelter syndrome specifically). And he isn’t unstable; he has PTSD from his very real trauma.

The Doctor helped him through each of these discoveries: they supported him through his sexuality crisis; they were one who tested Alistair’s DNA in the first place, discovering his XXY chromosomes; and they helped Alistair when he broke down about his trauma, letting him know that he has PTSD, and that they do too.

And that’s just one of the many reasons why Alistair loves the Doctor, because they helped him discover who he really is.


	11. Collection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually two separate drabbles in one chapter.

The Doctor has an extensive wardrobe. Their TARDIS has whole rooms full of frilly shirts and capes and suits of all fabrics and colours. Every time Alistair sees them, they are wearing a different outfit. Benton and Yates often joke about how their outfit changes several times a day.

However, their clothes all have one thing in common: they don’t cause the Doctor any sensory issues. Their hypersensitive skin means some fabrics are actually painful to wear, and seams are really uncomfortable. So that means their selected clothes are actually wearable, and the Doctor can’t help but collect things they can wear.

 

* * *

 

Ever since the Doctor ~~stole~~ borrowed that classic car and UNIT bought them Bessie as a compromise, the Doctor has developed a bit of an obsession with old cars. They currently own three classic cars (though Bessie is their favourite), but Alistair has managed to dissuade them from buying any more (mainly because there isn’t anywhere they can store them).

Still, he knows that they would collect every car in the world if they could, just because they love them so much. Alistair sometimes accompanies them as they look at classic cars, and he can’t help but smile.


	12. Sensory Overload

No one notices them leave. For someone known for being a bit too loud and wearing clothes that make them stand out, the Doctor is very good at leaving a situation without being spotted.

They leave the office, overwhelmed by the bright strip lights and the voices of so many officers having a meeting they never wanted to join in with in the first place. The Doctor walks through the corridors at UNIT HQ, very aware of how their trousers rub against their legs and their hair tickles their forehead. When they are in a state like this, they are hyperaware of everything.

Eventually, the Doctor reaches the TARDIS. They shut themself in and sink to the ground, silently thanking the TARDIS for lowering the lights automatically. The Doctor curls up tightly, their knees pressed against their forehead, trying to control their breathing as their senses go into overload. They try to calm themself down, but a meltdown is inevitable in a situation like this.

The meltdown flashes by in a wave of palpitations and self-injurious stimming, leaving the Doctor sweating and their forehead covered in bruises. But they know what to do now. Unfortunately, this happens far too often.


	13. Autistic Character

“Hey, Doctor,” says Mike Yates, walking into their lab without asking. No one asks anymore, and it doesn’t bother the Doctor nearly as much as it used too.

The Doctor looks up, putting a strip of chewing gum into their mouth; ever since Mike recommended chewing gum, they haven’t ruined their pens by chewing them. “Yes?”

Mike sits beside them. “I was watching something on the telly yesterday and I just wanted you to know that one of the characters is a lot like you.”

“Really?” the Doctor says, offering Mike a piece of chewing gum. “In what way?”

Mike takes a strip and starts chewing. “They act a lot like you. I think they might be autistic. I mean, it’s not been said because no one’s really heard of it and TV programmes love leading you along without actually confirming anything—”

“Like queerbaiting,” they add, referring to a rant John Benton had yesterday.

“Exactly. But, even though it’s not stated, they really remind me of you. It might be worth a watch.”

The Doctor smiles as Mike hands them the name of the programme on a piece of paper. “Thank you. It would be nice to see some representation.”


	14. Nonverbal

In the months since the Doctor’s first sign language class, Jo is almost completely fluent in sign language. She’s quite proud of herself, mainly because she failed French at school but she picked sign language up pretty quickly. And sign language is really quite cool; it means you can have a chat with someone in a meeting when you have to be silent, like the majority of boring meetings Jo has to sit through at UNIT.

But that is just a perk, just like Braille means you can read in the dark or subtitles mean you can watch the TV with the volume turned down. Yes, it’s a helpful side effect, but that’s not the main point of using sign language. Because it’s main point is also the most important: it means people who cannot form words with their mouth have a way to communicate.

So that is when it is most useful, because that’s what it’s for. Which means that when the Doctor goes nonverbal under stress, Jo and Mike and John and the Brigadier and everyone else at UNIT who went to their sign language lessons can communicate with them and help them when they can’t communicate verbally.


	15. Stim Toys

Ever since Mike Yates gave them the idea of chewing gum, the Doctor has ruined far less pens and pencils (and people have started lending them pens again, because they never used to, lest their pens get chewed), and their fingernails aren’t chewed down to the quick. It really was a good idea of Mike’s, and the Doctor makes sure to tell him this whenever they see him.

 

One time when they are rummaging through the TARDIS (looking for something to repair the dematerialisation circuit, although they never tell Jo that when she asks), they find a box of stim toys that must have been here for decades. They have no recollection of owning them (thanks to the Time Lords tampering with their memory), but they must have been theirs at some point.

One of the toys is a piece black of rubber (food-grade silicone, according to the TARDIS’ databank) in the shape of a mushroom. Further digging in the databank identifies it as a chewable stim toy, so the Doctor takes it from its packaging, and sticks it in their mouth. They chew on it, and, as they find the experience soothing, wonder why they hadn’t used it before.


	16. Autistic Utopia

It doesn’t occur very frequently, but sometimes there are days when Alistair doesn’t have to go into work. And those days tend to correlate with the days when the Doctor doesn’t go to UNIT HQ (though they don’t consider it work, because they aren’t actually a member of UNIT), so they get some quality time at home together.

They always lay in late (easy for them as most nights involve one of them having a nightmare), and when the Doctor gets bored of being in bed, they move downstairs and do nothing on the sofa instead. They usually spend all day in their pyjamas, doing nothing more than watching the television, drinking tea and chatting. It does their mental states a lot of good (because the Doctor is unlikely to have a meltdown and stress tends to make Alistair even more anxious than normal), and they get to talk and just be a couple in ways they can’t do at UNIT HQ.

The Doctor treasures these days. Because it gives them time to relax and spend time with Alistair, and spending time with their partner is one of their favourite things to do. And they think Alistair is the same.


	17. Inspiration

“There are many things that neurotypicals do to annoy me,” the Doctor says, fiddling with their cuffs as they lean backwards in their seat. They smile. “No offense.”

Jo nods, understanding what they mean. It’s the same as when she says men annoy her; she’s making a generalisation about a group of people more privileged than her, not personally attacking every member of that group.

“And one of them really annoys me because no one sees it as a bad thing. Have you ever seen a poster or an advert where they show you a disabled person (maybe a young girl with Down syndrome or a man walking on prosthetic legs), where the thing gives the ‘if they can do it, why can’t you?’ message?”

“Yeah... I think I know what you mean,” Jo says, a bit confused. “Why are they bad, exactly?”

“Because they’re using us as a prop, making us into something to blackmail abled people into doing more and not seeing us as anything other than to ‘inspire’ the ‘normal’ people.” The Doctor sighs, and then smiles. “Some call this infuriating phenomenon ‘inspiration porn’. But whatever you call it, it’s dehumanising and irritating and needs to stop.”


	18. Puzzle Pieces

“Autism is mostly unheard of at this time in Earth history, but in forty years time, everyone will know about it,” the Doctor says, their voice calm and steady like they are reading from a script. Alistair knows they often memorise what they are going to say, so his comparison half-works. “But they won’t know the true facts.”

“This symbol,” they continue, pointing to a picture of a jigsaw puzzle piece pinned to the chalkboard, “which started its life as a symbol for a British autism charity, will become co-opted by ableist people who hate people like me. The puzzle piece will become a symbol of fear and hatred of autism. Misinformation will spread, designed to scare people about autism and the supposed links autism diagnosis rates has with vaccinations, despite the fact that correlation doesn’t equal causation. And autistic people throughout the planet and the universe will associate the puzzle piece with ableism and a complete intolerance of people like them.”

“So,” the Doctor says, and they smile for the first time. “Avoid anything autism related if they use this symbol. It means those people don’t care about us. And no autistic person deserves to be treated like that.”


	19. Routine

“Wake up, Lethbridge-Stewart!”

Alistair awakes with a start, sitting up jerkily as something nudges his shoulder. His neck cracks and he groans, stretching his stiff arms. And then he realises that he is in his office, and the person who poked him was the Doctor.

Sat on the corner of his desk, the Doctor smiles at him. “Good afternoon.”

Alistair feels his cheeks flush. “How long have I been asleep?”

“I’m not certain. Yates said you were asleep when he came in here half an hour ago, so at least half an hour.”

Alistair sighs. “Sorry. This is most unprofessional.”

The Doctor shrugs. “You work too hard. It’s surprising this doesn’t happen more often.”

Alistair glares at them. “This is a very demanding job, Doctor.”

“I know, that, my dear fellow,” they say, their tone infuriatingly patient. “But it might be an idea to go to bed at the same time every night. Getting into a sleep routine might stop you falling asleep at work.”

“Fair enough,” Alistair says, yawning. “But you have to follow the routine too.”

The Doctor smiles. “Fair enough.”

“And send for Captain Yates. I want to know why he didn’t think to wake me up.”


	20. Animal or Pet

“Who’s that?”

“That’s my grandmother.”

“Ah. Who’s that?”

“That’s my cousin.”

“I see. Who’s that?”

Alistair sighs. “Doctor, if you’re just going to ask me questions every three seconds, just let me hold the album.”

The Doctor sighs too, but they smile. “Fine, you take it.”

The Doctor passes Alistair the old photo album, and then tucks their feet up onto the sofa. Alistair holds the old album carefully, stroking the leather spine with his fingertip. He turns the page, and then glances at the Doctor. Sure enough, they have opened their mouth as though about to ask him the same question again, but they shut their mouth when Alistair gives them a glare (although they both know he’s just being silly).

“This one is of me at my great-grandfather’s house,” he says, tapping the old photograph. “And that’s our Labrador, Sandy. He was a wonderful dog.”

“I didn’t know you were a dog person, Alistair,” the Doctor says, and Alistair smiles fondly.

“Yes, I love dogs, man’s best friend and all that,” he says. “We always had dogs when I was growing up. I’d love to get a dog when I retire.”

The Doctor smiles. “I think you should.”


	21. Honesty

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re very much bluntly honest?” Alistair asks.

“Yes, several times. Why?”

“Because you’re very bluntly honest.”

The Doctor sighs, but they’re smiling. “That makes sense. What have I said this time?”

“What do you mean?” Alistair says.

“This has happened to be several times. Someone tells me I’m very blunt, and it turns out that I accidentally offended them earlier by being rather bluntly honest. I don’t mean it, but I end up upsetting them, things get awkward and then they tell me what I said. I still struggle sometimes with being a bit too blunt, but I think I’m getting better. At least, I hope I am.” They chuckle slightly. “So, what have I said this time?”

“Um... it was earlier... in my office,” Alistair says, understanding a bit more thanks to the Doctor’s infodump.

“Ah, I know what you mean,” the Doctor says, their face flushing. “When I said your new dress trousers don’t leave much to the imagination.”

“Yes.” Alistair feels his face blush. “Although it was more the fact that Sergeant Benton was in the room at the time.”

“Sorry,” the Doctor says.

And they give Alistair’s hand a squeeze.


	22. Favourite Place

The Doctor’s favourite place is undoubtedly their TARDIS. They like lots of places (like the bed at Alistair’s house that they share at nights, or Bessie, their car which they love to drive around the countryside with their weighted lap pad across their legs and Alistair or Jo sat beside them), but the TARDIS is their favourite. And Alistair doesn’t blame them, because the TARDIS is a very amazing piece of technology (despite looking like a rather tatty old police box).

They often head into the TARDIS to locate some gadget or other they need to help save the day (the TARDIS still doesn’t work, but it’s full of useful things), and they enjoy giving people a tour just to see their amazed expressions when they walk into the deceptively massive room. More unhappily, the TARDIS is also the Doctor’s refuge when they are panicking or overwhelmed, because the TARDIS has the perfect conditions to help them calm down and unwind.

Alistair loves how much the Doctor adores their TARDIS. But he can’t help but feel sad when he looks at it, because he knows one day (when it is fixed) the Doctor will go inside and leave him forever.


	23. Happiness

Both Alistair and the Doctor feel dreadful today.

This morning, Alistair got triggered by someone’s perfume at UNIT HQ. Luckily, he was near his office, and managed to shut himself in there before the flashback overwhelmed him. When it was over, his knuckles were oozing blood.

Later, he saw the Doctor retreat into the TARDIS. When they came out, they had swollen marks across their face and their eyes were red from crying. All they said was, “Meltdown,” and Alistair understood.

And that is why they look weak and exhausted as they sit on the sofa, leaning against each other and watching the television.

“You look dreadful,” the Doctor says, a teasing tone to their voice.

Alistair raises his eyebrows. “You don’t look much better yourself.”

The Doctor chuckles weakly. “I know. I feel better now, though.”

“That’s good.”

“I think being with you helps.”

“Please refrain from being sappy with me, Doctor.” But then he chuckles and puts his arm around them. “I feel much better too.”

“Does being with me help?”

He sighs. “Of course. The happiness I feel around you is the only thing keeping me going sometimes.”

The Doctor smiles sadly. “Me too, Alistair. Me too.”


	24. Support

“You know what, Doctor, I honestly feel so grateful to be surrounded by the people I know,” Alistair says.

The Doctor looks up from hemming their new weighted vest (ever since Jo taught them how to sew, they have been getting reasonably skilled at it), and sees Alistair sigh. “Why?”

“Because I have ‘issues’,” he says, deliberately emphasising the word and making quotation marks with his fingers. “And I’m always grateful that you and the men and women in my command are... well, that you put up with me.”

He smiles, but it looks strained. The Doctor sticks their needle into the pin cushion, and shuffles closer to Alistair.

‘Well, I have ‘issues’ too, my dear Alistair,” they say, and they pat their hand against his knee, a gesture known in their relationship as affectionate. “And for as long as I have lived, I’ve always been amazed that so many people have ‘put up’ with me. So you certainly aren’t the only one.”

Alistair smiles, genuinely this time. “Yes, I know that. I just feel so... lucky that I have people in my life who put up with me.”

“We don’t ‘put up with you’, Alistair. We care about you.”


	25. Freebie

“How are things going with you and John?” Jo asks one afternoon when they are supposed to be working.

Mike raises his eyebrows and sighs, but then he smiles. “I’m not sure how it’s any of your business, Jo. But, yes, things are going rather well.”

Ever since Jo and the Doctor got involved with Mike’s personal life and persuaded him to finally ask Benton out on a date, things have been going well. Obviously he can’t really talk about it at work (despite the Brigadier’s rather liberal attitudes, the military isn’t a place where one can talk about one’s queer relationships openly), but it should be all right with just him and Jo in the room.

“That’s good,” Jo says, grinning. “I’m really glad things are working out for you two. Where’s John today?”

“He’s off sick,” Mike says. “Flu, I think.”

“We’re not doing well, are we?”

Mike knows what she means. With John off with flu and the Brig with a mental health relapse, as well as several others coming down with some weird virus, staff numbers at UNIT seem to be dwindling.

“Well I hope he feels better soon,” Jo says.

Mike sighs. “So do I.”


	26. Echolalia

“Right, so, are you ready for Neurodivergent Fact of the Day?” the Doctor says, making their voice ridiculously formal.

“Of course we are,” Jo says, grinning.

Ever since John Benton expressed interest in learning more about autism and Neurodiversity in general, the Doctor has been telling them random facts. In fact, it has practically become a daily occurrence now, and the Doctor’s friends at UNIT like to play it up like it’s a formal event.

Jo, John and Mike have gathered in the Doctor’s lab, and are sitting at the desk waiting for them to speak. Well, Jo and John have; Mike is only paying half-attention, more focused on his report about their latest alien attack.

“Many neurodivergent people experience something called echolalia, where you repeat words someone else has said, a bit like a parrot. Sometimes it is immediate, such as when the Brigadier says ‘hello, Doctor’ and I say that straight back to him. Other times it is delayed, such as when I suddenly say a sentence Jo said last week. It’s harmless and a bit weird, basically.”

“Just like you,” John says, and the Doctor raises their eyebrows.

“Thank you for that,” they say, but they smile.


	27. Colour

“Why didn’t you change Bessie’s colour when you first got her?” John Benton asks.

“What do you mean?” the Doctor says.

“Well, I mean... it’s a bit strange to have a yellow car, isn’t it?”

The Doctor smiles. “Yes, I suppose it is. But isn’t it also strange for that car to be a classic and for the driver to be wearing a frilly shirt and a cape?”

John laughs. “I see your point.”

“Seriously, though, I like Bessie being yellow. It makes her stand out. She’s different. Which means the pair of us get along well.”

 

* * *

 

“Is it a bird, is it a plane... no, it’s the Doctor, driving their stupid yellow car,” the Master says, his arms folded across his chest.

The Doctor drives up to where Yates has the Master in handcuffs. The Doctor climbs down and raises their eyebrows.

“I know you’re in a bad mood what with being caught again, but don’t take it out on Bessie,” they say, secretly glad that the Master, despite supposedly hating them, never misgenders them.

“What is it with you and that car?”

“She’s my friend,” the Doctor says, smiling. “Which is more than I can say for you.”


	28. Empathy

Whenever Alistair is having a bad day, the Doctor seems to be the only person who notices. Obviously, people notice if he has a flashback or has to go home sick because he had a panic attack or something like that, but no one ever seems to see what is wrong before Alistair gets to that stage. He hopes it is because he manages to wear an effective mask, hiding his overloading emotions behind a mask of competence that a leader so obviously needs. But either way, no one can tell, even when he feels really dreadful.

Unless that person is the Doctor.

“Having a bad day, Lethbridge-Stewart?” they say when they see his hands tremble or his voice shakes when he speaks. And although they say it in an offhanded way, Alistair sees the pain on the Doctor’s face. They know how horrible PTSD is (they have it themself), and they must know what Alistair is going through.

And the Doctor will always put their hand on his shoulder, and their voice is full of such empathy as they say, “I understand. Is there anything I can do to help?”

And their understanding helps more than Alistair can explain.


	29. Overthinking

Adding onto the seemingly never-ending list of annoying things his brain does, Alistair never ceases to be annoyed by his ability to overthink things.

He overthinks things all the time, so when the Doctor is two minutes late back from a mission or something, Alistair has to desperately keep himself calm whilst alarms go off in his mind and he starts thinking about everything that might have happened to them.

It is infuriating and annoying and most unprofessional, but Alistair doesn’t know how to make it stop. All he knows is that his brain is annoying and he hates it.

 

* * *

 

Alistair is unaware of this, but the Doctor does it too. Their brain has a habit of overloading them during a meltdown or a panic attack, remiding them of everything that’s going wrong and how it could be even worse.

It is why when they awake from a meltdown, overwhelmed with panic, the Doctor’s first instinct is to look for Alistair. They need check that he is still beside them, that he is all right, because, in that terrifying moment, their brain is far too skilled at lying to them and telling them that something awful has happened to Alistair.


	30. Neurotypical

Alistair’s brain doesn’t work properly. That is a fact. It malfunctioned after he went through some serious trauma, leaving him mentally ill and suffering permanent psychological scars. He has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. That is another fact. He lives in a state of near-contestant anxiety. He has flashbacks on a regular basis when his mind brings back all the memories and overwhelms him completely. He has nightmares that mean he hasn’t slept properly for years. He developed alcoholism and still verges on a relapse when he is particularly low. He has a hyperactive startle response, and jumps violently at the slightest noise. These are all facts, even the ones he struggled to accept.

But he doesn’t hate himself for all of this, at least, not any more. And that, just like most changes that have happened in his life, is all down to the Doctor. Because the Doctor helped him so much, helped him to accept his PTSD, that none of this is his fault, and that his brain is just not working properly in response to what happened to him. Because the Doctor helped him accept himself.

Because the Doctor is the most wonderful person he has ever met.


End file.
